Depends on your attitude, time and attention to your money.

Case in point—Tony complains he has no money. Makes a decent salary, no kids, rents, has a girl friend. I ask him to first estimate what he spends day to day, then write down what he actually spends and report back.

Turns out 30% of weekly expenses goes to eating out—Starbucks on the way to work,
quick pizza for lunch, and here comes the biggie—dinner out every night with his girlfriend. She pays NOTHING! and has a good job.

“OK, what’s the deal here,” I say, “What needs to change?” He puts his head down and mutters, “Well, she ought to help out once in a while.” “Sounds like a good idea, can you ask her?”

“Won’t she think less of me, I’m the GUY!” he says. “If you’re broke is she going to think more of you?” I say back.

“Never thought of it that way. When it comes time to pay she bats those big blue eyes of hers and I’m reaching for my wallet. Now that I see what I do maybe I can do it differently.”

“What would you do differently?” I ask. “Well, I could suggest we cook in, like at her place.” “Give it a try and let me know what happens.”

Tony says his money flies away, like money has a will of its own. He learned that HIS choices control his money. Money will treat him better when he steps up for himself.

With glowing pride one person talked about how she had finally, after years of procrastination, consulted a financial advisor ($500/year).

Another person was living with someone who had a fortune  but, after 16 years of living together, had not put her name on anything nor  offered her a guarantee of income.  She “knows” she is vulnerable but can’t assert what her needs are to a partner who “would rather not talk about the money.”

Very strong emotions and the complexity of human relationships  are woven into these money matters. How do I help someone who is churning around in these issues and can’t seem to get a handle on them?

The first step toward change is to help you clarify what your beliefs are about money. Even though we all have a relationship to money many of us do not know what that relationship is all about.

One exercise that might help is to write a dialogue with money. Write down several words that come to mind about money if you think about it for a minute. Then take those words and imagine what money would look like were money to be a person. Once you have that image (a tall, dark, powerful looking man, a beautiful woman seductress, a hobo on the streets, etc.) , then imagine how a converstaion would go between you two.

When you have finished the dialogue, ask yourself what your mother would think, what your dad would think and what your higher power thinks. What have you learned about how you relate to money? Has this exercise clarified some beliefs you have about money?
The next step is to think of one small aspect of money you would like to change. For instance, if you are spending too much, write down all you spend for a week and then review it. See if there are any surprises. Or promise yourself to look at your bank statements at the end of the month instead of just tossing them in a pile.

Any small step to understand how you regard money and how you believe money treats you will be a positive step on the road to financial wellness.

The Great Recession of 2008, is rivaled only by the Great Depression of the 1930s. The Great Recession of 2008 hurt everyone. No one was spared. Compare 2008 with 2000 and the tech bubble burst. Those of us over weighted with technology stocks suffered dearly. A large handful of us were affected, but not everyone. The market went down but it came back relatively quickly when real estate started to ramp up. In 2001 9/11 hit and we all suffered for a short time and then all was “back to normal.”

2009 would be the year of widespread unemployment, deeply sagging real estate prices and a Dow that hit its low at 6,400, down from a peak of nearly 14,000. The surprise 4000 point gain in the Dow in the second half of 2009 squashed all the pessimist’s forecasts and even shocked the optimists. All the voices who cried that the government was taking on bad debt are now amazed that bans are paying back TARP (perhaps for the wrong reasons), but, nonetheless the taxpayers are gaining benefit. The VIX, or volatility index, is down under 20 vs. the crazy 80+ readings we had earlier. Housing prices are stabilizing or up in at least 20 major metro areas, and hiring of temporary employees is sharply higher.

Meanwhile though, there is a great divide between Wall Street and Main Street’s recovery. The unemployment rate is still at 10%+ to 17+% depending on which measurement is used. Stores and businesses have and are closing, incomes are down and we consumers are very cautious. Main Street starts 2010 demoralized and uncertain. The legal and financial professions have gone from robust to just plain bust. Those of us who are still employed (or have another income source) and are able to invest are recovering well. The depleted unemployed, the struggling business owners, and demoralized homeowners who can’t pay their mortgage start 2010 with uncertainty and consequent fear.

I don’t think we can declare victory over the economic disaster of the Great Recession, or even that it is at an end. But the latest reading of the “tealeaves” does suggest we are emerging from the worst of it.